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KS3 · English Language - Writing (Narrative and Description), with supporting Reading and Language skills

KS3.E3 Writing: Narrative and Description

AQA AQA-style KS3 English (non-statutory; styled on AQA GCSE English Language 8700 assessment objectives) · Calculators not allowed · about 130 minutes

Name: _______________________________ Date: ____ / ____ / ______

Read the source text 'The Last Ferry' carefully, then answer all questions. Short retrieval and language questions come first, followed by narrative and descriptive writing skills drills, two levels-marked analysis questions, and finally two extended writing tasks marked for content and organisation (AO5) and technical accuracy (AO6). Plan before you start each extended writing task and leave time to check your work.

Source: The Last Ferry

Source written for Revision Library (original, copyright-free). All characters and events are fictitious. The narrator describes a teenager, Priya, who arrives at a harbour just after the final ferry of the day has departed.

The harbour held its breath as the light drained out of the sky. Priya stood at the end of the stone pier, her scarf snapping like a flag in the wind, watching the last ferry crawl towards the horizon. It was already too far to catch. She had missed it by four minutes: four ordinary minutes that now felt like the widest sea in the world.

Behind her, the town was folding itself up for the night. Shutters clattered shut one by one, and a chain of orange streetlamps blinked awake along the harbour wall. The gulls, restless and grey, wheeled overhead and screamed at nobody in particular. Below the pier, the water slapped against the barnacled stones with a patient, hungry sound, as if the sea itself were waiting for something to fall in.

Priya pulled her coat tighter and counted the lights on the ferry: one, two, three, until they blurred into a single trembling smear of gold. Her father's voice echoed in her head, calm and infuriating as always. 'There is always another boat, Priya. There is always tomorrow.' She had believed him once. Tonight the words tasted like a lie he told himself as much as her.

The wind grew teeth. It rattled the loose corrugated roof of the fish market and sent a plastic bag cartwheeling across the cobbles: a ghost with nowhere left to haunt. Somewhere a rope, badly tied, thudded against a mast in a slow, stubborn rhythm, like a clock counting down to nothing. Priya thought of the letter folded in her pocket, its edges already soft from being read too many times, and wondered whether the tide would still be out when she was ready to read it again.

A man in a yellow coat trudged past with a bucket of mackerel, nodded once, and did not stop. Ordinary life continued around her, indifferent and unbothered, the way it always does when your whole world has just tipped sideways. Far out, the ferry's lights finally dipped below the curve of the sea, swallowed whole, and the harbour was, for a moment, entirely dark.

Then, quietly, the moon rose over the breakwater and laid a single silver path across the water, straight towards the pier, straight towards Priya, as if inviting her to walk on...

Look again at paragraphs 1 and 2 of the source, 'The Last Ferry'. List four details that show what the harbour is like at dusk.

(4)

In paragraph 4, the writer describes 'the loose corrugated roof of the fish market'. What does 'corrugated' mean in this context?

A) smooth and flat
B) shaped into a series of ridges and folds
C) painted a bright colour
D) completely broken and unusable

Give the meaning of each word as it is used in the source.

(a)'indifferent' (paragraph 5)(1)

(b)'cartwheeling' (paragraph 4)(1)

(c)'restless' (paragraph 2)(1)

(d)'breakwater' (final paragraph)(1)

Identify whether each sentence below is simple, compound or complex.

(i)'The wind rattled the windows.'(1)

(ii)'The wind rattled the windows, and the rain lashed against the glass.'(1)

(iii)'Although the storm had passed, the harbour still smelled of salt and danger.'(1)

Punctuate this line of speech correctly, adding inverted commas and any other punctuation needed. Do not change the words.

well shouted the old fisherman we should never have let the last ferry leave without her

(4)

Add the missing capital letters, apostrophes and end punctuation to this paragraph.

the old fishermans boat was tied to the post its paint was peeling and the deck creaked with every wave didnt anyone notice

(5)

The writer describes Priya's scarf 'snapping like a flag in the wind'.

(a)Identify the language technique used here.(1)

(b)Explain the effect of this simile on the reader.(2)

The writer uses a colon and an ellipsis for deliberate effect in the source.

(a)Explain the effect of the colon in: 'She had missed it by four minutes: four ordinary minutes that now felt like the widest sea in the world.'(2)

(b)Explain the effect of the ellipsis at the end of the source.(2)

Write one original sentence containing a metaphor to describe the sea at night. Do not copy any sentence from the source.

(2)

Write one original sentence that uses personification to describe the wind.

(2)

Rewrite this sentence so that it shows Priya's feelings through her actions, senses or physical details, without using the words 'sad' or 'scared' (or similar feeling words).

Priya was very sad and scared.

(3)

Each sentence below has an error in verb tense. Rewrite each sentence correctly, keeping it consistently in the past tense.

(a)'Yesterday, Priya walk to the harbour and watches the ferry leave.'(2)

(b)'By the time she arrives, the boat already left.'(2)

Write an expanded noun phrase (using at least two well-chosen describing words or phrases) for each of the following.

(a)the sea at dusk(1)

(b)the sky above the harbour(1)

Using the source as a model, write two original sentences describing a storm at sea, each using a different sense other than sight.

(a)Use the sense of sound.(2)

(b)Use the sense of touch or smell.(2)

You now need to think about the whole of the source. How does the writer structure the source to build a sense of Priya's isolation? Refer to the whole of the source in your answer.

(6)

How does the writer use language to create a sense of tension and loss in paragraphs 3 to 6 of the source? Refer to the writer's choice of words and phrases.

(8)

Descriptive writing task. You are advised to spend about 35 minutes on this question. Plan before you begin and leave time to check your work. (16 marks for content and organisation, 8 marks for technical accuracy.)

Write a description suggested by the title 'Before the Boats Return', describing a harbour or stretch of coastline early in the morning, before anyone else is awake.

(24)

Narrative writing task. You are advised to spend about 35 minutes on this question. Plan before you begin and leave time to check your work. (16 marks for content and organisation, 8 marks for technical accuracy.)

Write the opening part of a story in which a character is waiting for someone who does not arrive. You may base your answer on Priya's situation in 'The Last Ferry', or invent your own character and setting.

(24)

Mark scheme · KS3.E3 Writing: Narrative and Description

Question 1

B1 one acceptable detail, e.g. the light was draining/fading out of the sky (oe)
B1 a second detail, e.g. shutters clattered shut / the town was folding itself up for the night (oe)
B1 a third detail, e.g. orange streetlamps blinked awake along the harbour wall (oe)
B1 a fourth detail, e.g. restless grey gulls wheeled overhead and screamed (oe)
Answer: Any four of: the light fading from the sky; shutters clattering shut; orange streetlamps coming on; restless grey gulls wheeling and screaming; the water slapping against the barnacled stones; the last ferry crawling towards the horizon.

Question 2

B1 B) shaped into a series of ridges and folds (cao)
Answer: B

Question 3

(a) B1 not interested / not caring either way; unconcerned (oe)
(a) Answer: not caring; unconcerned
(b) B1 turning/rolling over and over, end over end (oe)
(b) Answer: tumbling or rolling over repeatedly
(c) B1 unable to stay still or settle; agitated (oe)
(c) Answer: unable to keep still; agitated
(d) B1 a barrier built out into the sea to protect a harbour from waves (oe)
(d) Answer: a wall or barrier that protects the harbour from the sea

Question 4

(i) B1 simple (cao)
(i) Answer: Simple sentence
(ii) B1 compound (cao)
(ii) Answer: Compound sentence
(iii) B1 complex (cao)
(iii) Answer: Complex sentence

Question 5

B1 opening inverted commas before a capital 'Well' (cso)
B1 comma after 'Well' and closing inverted commas before 'shouted the old fisherman' (cso)
B1 comma after 'fisherman', then reopening inverted commas before lower-case 'we' (cso)
B1 closing full stop placed inside the final inverted commas (cso)
Answer: 'Well,' shouted the old fisherman, 'we should never have let the last ferry leave without her.'

Question 6

B1 capital 'The' at the start of the paragraph (cso)
B1 apostrophe in 'fisherman's' (cso)
B1 full stop after 'post' and capital 'Its' to start the next sentence (cso)
B1 comma before 'and' and full stop after 'wave' (cso)
B1 apostrophe in 'Didn't' and question mark at the end (cso)
Answer: The old fisherman's boat was tied to the post. Its paint was peeling, and the deck creaked with every wave. Didn't anyone notice?

Question 7

(a) B1 simile (cao, must include recognition of 'like')
(a) Answer: Simile
(b) B1 identifies the connotation of the comparison, e.g. flags snap sharply and are buffeted/exposed by the wind (oe)
(b) B1 links this to Priya's feelings, e.g. suggests she feels exposed, buffeted or helpless against forces beyond her control (oe)
(b) Answer: The comparison to a flag snapping suggests Priya is exposed and buffeted by forces beyond her control, mirroring her feeling of helplessness as she watches the ferry leave.

Question 8

(a) B1 recognises the colon introduces or expands on the preceding statement (oe)
(a) B1 links this to emphasis on the contrast between the tiny delay and its huge emotional impact (oe)
(a) Answer: The colon introduces an expansion of the four minutes, emphasising how such a small, ordinary delay felt disproportionately huge and devastating to Priya.
(b) B1 recognises the ellipsis leaves the sentence or ending unfinished/trailing off (oe)
(b) B1 links this to an open, uncertain ending that mirrors Priya's uncertainty about what she will do next (oe)
(b) Answer: The ellipsis leaves the final sentence trailing off unfinished, creating an open and uncertain ending that mirrors Priya's own uncertainty about whether to follow the moonlit path.

Question 9

B1 a grammatically complete metaphor that states the sea is/becomes something else, with no use of 'like' or 'as' (oe)
B1 an apt, effective image suited to a night-time setting, e.g. darkness, stillness, danger or vastness (oe)
Answer: e.g. 'The sea was a sheet of black glass, waiting to crack.'

Question 10

B1 gives the wind a human action, feeling or intention (oe)
B1 an effective, apt choice of verb or feeling suited to the required mood (oe)
Answer: e.g. 'The wind pressed its cold hands against the windows, begging to be let in.'

Question 11

B1 no direct emotion words used (cao)
B1 includes at least one physical, sensory or behavioural detail that implies the feeling (oe)
B1 the rewrite is coherent and clearly implies the same emotions (oe)
Answer: e.g. 'Priya's hands shook as she gripped the cold railing, unable to look away from the fading lights.'

Question 12

(a) B1 corrects 'walk' to 'walked' (cso)
(a) B1 corrects 'watches' to 'watched' (cso)
(a) Answer: Yesterday, Priya walked to the harbour and watched the ferry leave.
(b) B1 corrects 'arrives' to 'arrived' (cso)
(b) B1 corrects 'already left' to 'had already left', using the past perfect for the earlier action (cso)
(b) Answer: By the time she arrived, the boat had already left.

Question 13

(a) B1 a noun phrase headed by 'sea' with at least two effective modifiers (oe)
(a) Answer: e.g. 'the restless, iron-grey sea'
(b) B1 a noun phrase headed by 'sky' with at least two effective modifiers (oe)
(b) Answer: e.g. 'the fading, bruise-purple sky'

Question 14

(a) B1 a clear, relevant sound-based detail (oe)
(a) B1 precise, effective vocabulary appropriate to a storm (oe)
(a) Answer: e.g. 'The thunder cracked like splitting timber, rolling on and on across the black water.'
(b) B1 a clear, relevant touch- or smell-based detail (oe)
(b) B1 precise, effective vocabulary appropriate to a storm (oe)
(b) Answer: e.g. 'Salt spray stung her cheeks, and the cold rain soaked through to her skin.'

Question 15

Level 3 (5-6): Detailed, exploratory analysis of a range of structural features and their cumulative effect on the reader: tracks the shifting focus, the contrast between ordinary life continuing and Priya's crisis, and the way light imagery frames the passage and builds to the ambiguous ending; sophisticated and accurate use of subject terminology.
Level 2 (3-4): Clear explanation of structural choices and their effect, e.g. explains how the focus shifts from Priya to the town and back to show she is alone in a crowd; clear use of subject terminology.
Level 1 (1-2): Simple awareness of structural features, e.g. identifies that the focus moves between Priya and her surroundings, with little comment on effect; simple or no subject terminology.
Indicative content:
- Opens in close focus on Priya, then pulls back to the wider town (shutters, streetlamps), showing her isolation within a busy setting
- Shifts to Priya's internal thoughts and her father's remembered words, contrasting past reassurance with present doubt
- The man in the yellow coat interrupts the internal focus to show 'ordinary life' continuing, unaware of and indifferent to Priya's crisis
- The disappearance of the ferry's lights marks a turning point/climax, plunging the harbour into darkness
- The final paragraph shifts to a wide, symbolic image of the moon and its path, ending on an open, ambiguous note
- Light imagery is used structurally throughout (fading daylight, streetlamps, ferry lights, moonlight) to trace Priya's emotional journey
- Short, blunt sentences such as 'The wind grew teeth.' are placed to interrupt longer, flowing description and mark shifts in mood

Question 16

Level 4 (7-8): Detailed and sustained analysis, exploring how the writer's choices of language, including word choice, imagery and sentence forms, work together to create tension and a sense of loss; supported by precise, well-integrated quotation and accurate use of subject terminology.
Level 3 (5-6): Clear, developed explanation of a range of language choices, with reference to their effect on the reader, supported by well-chosen quotation and some subject terminology.
Level 2 (3-4): Some explanation of how language choices create tension or loss, supported by relevant quotation.
Level 1 (1-2): Simple identification of words or phrases, with little or no comment on effect.
Indicative content:
- Personification 'The wind grew teeth' suggests the weather becomes actively threatening, mirroring Priya's rising distress
- Simile 'like a clock counting down to nothing' creates a sense of inevitability and hopelessness
- The image of the ferry lights blurring into 'a single trembling smear of gold' suggests disorientation and tears or emotion clouding her vision
- Direct speech from her father, 'There is always another boat... there is always tomorrow', is undercut by the narrative voice calling it 'a lie he told himself', showing a loss of faith and trust
- Harsh, violent verbs such as 'slapped', 'screamed' and 'thudded' create an unsettling, hostile soundscape
- The simile describing the plastic bag as 'a ghost with nowhere left to haunt' reinforces ideas of loss and aimlessness
- Contrast between the indifferent 'ordinary life' of the man with the mackerel and Priya's inner crisis emphasises her isolation
- The final image of moonlight laying 'a single silver path' towards Priya is ambiguous, suggesting hope or temptation, leaving tension unresolved

Question 17

Content and organisation (AO5, 16 marks)
- Level 4 (13-16): Compelling, convincing communication of ideas; extensive and ambitious vocabulary with sustained crafting of language for effect; varied and inventive structural features used to enhance coherence; a complex and effective descriptive structure.
- Level 3 (9-12): Clear, consistent communication; increasingly sophisticated vocabulary and selection of detail for effect; structural features used with some success to guide the reader; coherent, well-managed structure.
- Level 2 (5-8): Some successful communication; conscious attempt at vocabulary for effect, though not always successful; some structural features used, with some sense of coherence.
- Level 1 (1-4): Simple communication of ideas; simple vocabulary with occasional attempt at effect; limited structural features; writing may be repetitive or list-like.
Technical accuracy (AO6, 8 marks)
- Level 4 (7-8): Wide range of sentence forms used for deliberate effect; highly accurate spelling and punctuation, including ambitious vocabulary; extensive and ambitious range of punctuation used with control.
- Level 3 (5-6): Range of sentence forms used, mostly effectively; generally accurate spelling and punctuation; range of punctuation mostly used correctly.
- Level 2 (3-4): Some variation in sentence forms; some control of spelling and punctuation, with occasional errors that do not hinder meaning; simple range of punctuation, mostly accurate.
- Level 1 (1-2): Sentence demarcation mostly accurate but with a limited range of sentence forms; frequent errors in spelling or punctuation, though meaning is generally clear.

Question 18

Content and organisation (AO5, 16 marks)
- Level 4 (13-16): Compelling, convincing narrative voice and characterisation; extensive and ambitious vocabulary with sustained crafting of language and narrative devices for effect; varied and inventive structural features, including a convincing opening hook and shifts of focus, to engage the reader.
- Level 3 (9-12): Clear, consistent narrative voice; increasingly sophisticated vocabulary and selection of narrative detail for effect; structural features, such as a clear opening and building of atmosphere, used with some success.
- Level 2 (5-8): Some successful narrative communication; conscious attempt at characterisation and vocabulary for effect, though not always successful; some structural features used, with some sense of coherence.
- Level 1 (1-4): Simple narrative with limited characterisation; simple vocabulary with occasional attempt at effect; limited structural features; writing may be repetitive or list-like.
Technical accuracy (AO6, 8 marks)
- Level 4 (7-8): Wide range of sentence forms, including dialogue punctuation where used, for deliberate effect; highly accurate spelling and punctuation, including ambitious vocabulary.
- Level 3 (5-6): Range of sentence forms used, mostly effectively; generally accurate spelling and punctuation, including accurate dialogue punctuation where used.
- Level 2 (3-4): Some variation in sentence forms; some control of spelling and punctuation, with occasional errors that do not hinder meaning.
- Level 1 (1-2): Sentence demarcation mostly accurate but with a limited range of sentence forms; frequent errors in spelling or punctuation, though meaning is generally clear.

Writing: Narrative and Description - Worksheets, Questions and Revision