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11+ · English - Creative Writing

EP.E10 Creative Writing

GL ASSESSMENT / CSSE 11+ Entrance English (GL Assessment / CSSE style) · Calculators not allowed · about 90 minutes

Total Marks

Name: _______________________________ Date: ____ / ____ / ______

Answer ALL questions. Show all your working.

The Clock in the Cellar

Source written for Revision Library (original, copyright-free). Fictional narrative created for 11+ reading and creative writing practice. Any resemblance to real people or places is coincidental.

Nobody in Marsh Row had been down to the Pemberton cellar in eleven years, not since old Mr Pemberton had nailed the door shut and moved to his sister's house by the coast. So when the removal van rattled away and left Aisha standing alone in the echoing hallway of her new home, the cellar door was the first thing she noticed: a rectangle of darker wood, four black nail-heads still buried in the frame like full stops.

Her mother was upstairs arguing gently with a wardrobe that would not fit round the landing corner. Aisha crouched by the door and worked her fingers under the lowest nail. It came away easier than she expected, squeaking once, like a small, surprised animal. Then the second nail. Then the third.

The air that met her when the door finally swung open was cold in a way that had nothing to do with the weather outside. It smelled of dust and something sweeter underneath, like apples left too long in a bowl. Aisha found the torch on her phone and pointed it down a flight of stone steps that curved out of sight.

At the bottom, pushed against the far wall, stood a grandfather clock taller than her father. Its face was the colour of old teeth, and its hands had stopped at seventeen minutes past three. Aisha ran her torch beam along the case and found, carved into the wood beneath the pendulum door, a single word: WAIT.

She should have gone straight back upstairs. She knew that, the way you know not to touch a hot oven door even before your hand feels the heat. Instead she reached out and turned the small brass key that sat, unremarkably, in the lock beneath the clock face.

The tick, when it came, was enormous in the small stone room, a sound like a giant swallowing. Aisha stepped back so quickly she nearly lost her footing on the stairs. The hands did not move. But somewhere above her, faint through two floors and a hallway, she heard the front door open and close, though she was quite certain her mother was still upstairs, still cross with the wardrobe, still calling down questions that Aisha, standing frozen at the bottom of the cellar steps, found she could not answer.

Look at how each word is used in the source text. Choose the option (A-D) that is closest in meaning.

(a)'the echoing hallway of her new home' (paragraph 1) - 'echoing' is closest to:(1)

A) silent
B) sound-repeating
C) narrow
D) brightly lit

(b)'the small brass key that sat, unremarkably, in the lock' (paragraph 6) - 'unremarkably' is closest to:(1)

A) in a way that draws no attention
B) in a way that shines brightly
C) in a way that is broken
D) in a way that is very old

(c)'a flight of stone steps that curved out of sight' (paragraph 3) - this phrase tells us the steps:(1)

A) went straight down with no bends
B) bent round so their end could not be seen
C) were extremely steep
D) were covered in dust

(d)'Aisha, standing frozen at the bottom of the cellar steps' (final paragraph) - 'frozen' here is closest to:(1)

A) very cold from the weather
B) unable to move because of fear or shock
C) asleep
D) crying

(Total for Question 1 is 4 marks)

List four separate details the text gives you about the cellar door before Aisha opens it.

(Total for Question 2 is 4 marks)

Find and copy the exact words asked for in each part below.

(a)Find and copy one phrase from paragraph 3 that suggests the smell in the cellar was like something starting to go off.(1)

(b)Find and copy the single word carved into the clock case beneath the pendulum door.(1)

(Total for Question 3 is 2 marks)

What does the sentence 'She should have gone straight back upstairs' suggest about how Aisha is feeling at this point in the story? Use evidence from the text to support your answer.

(Total for Question 4 is 3 marks)

Explain how the writer uses language in paragraph 2 to build a sense of unease as Aisha opens the cellar door.

(Total for Question 5 is 6 marks)

How does the writer structure the text as a whole to build suspense from the opening to the ending?

(Total for Question 6 is 6 marks)

'The final paragraph is the most effective part of the story.' To what extent do you agree? Support your answer with close reference to the text and your own analysis of the writer's methods.

(Total for Question 7 is 8 marks)

Read this sentence: 'Aisha crouched quietly by the old wooden door and carefully worked her fingers under the lowest nail.' Identify the word class of each underlined word.

(a)crouched(1)

(b)quietly(1)

(c)old(1)

(d)her(1)

(e)lowest(1)

(Total for Question 8 is 5 marks)

Rewrite each sentence, correcting the punctuation and capitalisation errors.

(a)the removal vans engine rattled away down marsh row(1)

(b)aishas mother was upstairs arguing with a wardrobe(1)

(c)at the bottom of the stairs a grandfather clock stood against the wall(1)

(d)aisha turned the key what happened next surprised her(1)

(Total for Question 9 is 4 marks)

Identify each sentence below as simple, compound or complex.

(a)The tick was enormous.(1)

(b)Aisha opened the door, and the cold air rushed out.(1)

(c)Although she felt afraid, Aisha turned the key.(1)

(Total for Question 10 is 3 marks)

Punctuate this line of dialogue correctly, adding capital letters, speech marks and any other punctuation needed: aisha whispered i heard something moving down there

(Total for Question 11 is 4 marks)

Combine each pair of simple sentences into one complex sentence, using the subordinating conjunction given.

(a)'Aisha found the torch on her phone. She wanted to see into the dark cellar.' (use because)(2)

(b)'The clock's hands did not move. Aisha heard a strange sound.' (use although)(2)

(c)'Aisha turned the key. The room grew cold.' (use when)(2)

(Total for Question 12 is 6 marks)

You are going to plan a new story titled 'The Door That Should Not Open'. Complete the planning grid below.

(a)Write one opening 'hook' sentence to grab the reader's attention.(1)

(b)Give one sensory detail (sound, smell or sight) you could use in your opening.(1)

(c)Give the name of your main character and one detail about them.(1)

(d)Give one hint you could include that something strange might happen later (foreshadowing).(1)

(Total for Question 13 is 4 marks)

Write a short paragraph (4 to 6 sentences) describing a locked door at the end of a long corridor. You must include: one simile, one example of personification, and at least one detail using a sense other than sight.

(Total for Question 14 is 6 marks)

The passage below contains five errors (spelling, homophones and punctuation). Rewrite the passage, correcting all five errors: 'Aisha creeped down the stairs quietly. She could here her heart beating fast. The clocks hands seemed to move on there own, and she new she should not have touched the key.'

(Total for Question 15 is 5 marks)

Continue this opening for 4 to 6 sentences, building tension through your choice of vocabulary and sentence lengths: 'The letterbox rattled once, twice, then fell silent.'

(Total for Question 16 is 8 marks)

Now write your own complete story. Choose ONE of the titles below.
Title A: The Door That Should Not Open
Title B: The Last Bus Home
Plan carefully, then write your story. Write for about 35 to 40 minutes, aiming to fill at least one and a half sides. You may use ideas from the extract you have read, but your story must be entirely your own original work.

(Total for Question 17 is 36 marks)

Mark scheme · EP.E10 Creative Writing

Question 1

(a) B1 B cao
(a) Answer: B) sound-repeating
(b) B1 A cao
(b) Answer: A) in a way that draws no attention
(c) B1 B cao
(c) Answer: B) bent round so their end could not be seen
(d) B1 B cao
(d) Answer: B) unable to move because of fear or shock

Question 2

B1 nobody had been down to the cellar in eleven years / not used since Mr Pemberton left oe
B1 the door had been nailed shut, with (four) nails/nail-heads visible oe
B1 the door was a rectangle of darker wood in the hallway oe
B1 Mr Pemberton had nailed it shut before moving to his sister's house by the coast oe
Answer: Any four of: not entered for eleven years; nailed shut by Mr Pemberton; four nail-heads visible in the frame; appeared as a darker rectangle of wood; Mr Pemberton had moved to his sister's house by the coast.

Question 3

(a) B1 'something sweeter underneath, like apples left too long in a bowl' or 'apples left too long in a bowl' cao
(a) Answer: apples left too long in a bowl
(b) B1 WAIT cao
(b) Answer: WAIT

Question 4

Level 2 (3): A detailed explanation supported by well-chosen, relevant reference or embedded quotation.
Level 1 (1-2): A clear but more general explanation with some reference to the text.
Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.
Indicative content:
- Aisha senses she is doing something risky or forbidden, but chooses to carry on anyway
- the simile 'the way you know not to touch a hot oven door even before your hand feels the heat' shows an instinctive, almost physical awareness of danger
- her curiosity overrides her caution, shown by her reaching out and turning the key regardless
- answers may note a mixture of fear and fascination in her behaviour

Question 5

Level 3 (5-6): Perceptive analysis of two or more language methods, supported by precise references and exploring effect on the reader using relevant subject terminology.
Level 2 (3-4): A clear explanation of at least one method, supported by a relevant textual reference, with comment on its effect.
Level 1 (1-2): Simple identification of language features with limited or no explanation of effect.
Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.
Indicative content:
- the simile 'squeaking once, like a small, surprised animal' personifies the nail, making an ordinary action feel unexpectedly alive and unsettling
- the cold described as being 'in a way that had nothing to do with the weather outside' hints at something unnatural before anything strange has actually happened
- the simile comparing the smell to 'apples left too long in a bowl' suggests decay, adding a queasy, uneasy note to the atmosphere
- short, simple sentence structures ('Then the second nail. Then the third.') slow the pace and build tension
- sensory language across smell, sound and touch immerses the reader in Aisha's experience of the moment

Question 6

Level 3 (5-6): Perceptive analysis of structural choices across the whole text, supported by precise reference to specific moments and clear comment on their effect on the reader.
Level 2 (3-4): A clear explanation of at least one structural feature, supported by relevant reference, with comment on its effect.
Level 1 (1-2): Simple, general comments on structure with little or no supporting reference.
Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.
Indicative content:
- the text opens with background/exposition (the sealed door, the eleven years) before any action, establishing history and mystery
- focus narrows in stages, from the whole house, to the door, to the cellar steps, to the clock, to a single carved word, a zooming-in structure that increases tension
- the discovery of the word WAIT acts as a turning point, shifting the tone from curiosity towards dread
- the final paragraph introduces an unresolved twist (the front door opening and closing when her mother is supposedly still upstairs), which leaves events deliberately unexplained
- the story ends on a cliffhanger, withholding resolution to sustain suspense beyond the final line

Question 7

Level 4 (7-8): A convincing, well-substantiated evaluation, exploring more than one method with precise reference, and weighing the effect of the ending against other moments in the text.
Level 3 (5-6): A clear evaluation supported by relevant reference to the ending and at least one comparison point elsewhere in the text.
Level 2 (3-4): A straightforward personal response with some relevant reference to the text, but limited development or comparison.
Level 1 (1-2): A simple, general opinion with little or no supporting reference.
Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.
Indicative content:
- the ambiguity of the ending (whether it really is her mother at the door, or something else) is effective because it leaves the reader unsettled and wanting to know more
- the contrast between the mundane (her mother 'still cross with the wardrobe') and the uncanny (the front door opening and closing on its own) is a method that unsettles the reader through juxtaposition
- the withheld resolution, with Aisha unable to answer her mother's questions, mirrors the reader's own uncertainty and refuses a neat conclusion
- the ending recontextualises the earlier carved word WAIT, giving it a new and more sinister meaning in hindsight
- a counter-argument might claim an earlier moment (the tick 'like a giant swallowing') is more effective because of its immediate sensory impact
- credit should be given for the quality of analysis and use of evidence, not simply for the opinion reached

Question 8

(a) B1 verb cao
(a) Answer: verb
(b) B1 adverb cao
(b) Answer: adverb
(c) B1 adjective cao
(c) Answer: adjective
(d) B1 possessive pronoun/determiner cao
(d) Answer: possessive pronoun (determiner)
(e) B1 adjective (superlative) cao
(e) Answer: adjective (superlative form)

Question 9

(a) B1 capital T, apostrophe in van's, capital letters for Marsh Row, full stop cao (all corrections needed for the mark)
(a) Answer: The removal van's engine rattled away down Marsh Row.
(b) B1 capital A, apostrophe in Aisha's, full stop cao (all corrections needed for the mark)
(b) Answer: Aisha's mother was upstairs arguing with a wardrobe.
(c) B1 capital A, comma after fronted adverbial 'stairs', full stop cao (all corrections needed for the mark)
(c) Answer: At the bottom of the stairs, a grandfather clock stood against the wall.
(d) B1 split into two correctly punctuated sentences with capital A and capital W cao (all corrections needed for the mark)
(d) Answer: Aisha turned the key. What happened next surprised her.

Question 10

(a) B1 simple cao
(a) Answer: simple
(b) B1 compound cao
(b) Answer: compound
(c) B1 complex cao
(c) Answer: complex

Question 11

B1 capital letter for the name Aisha
B1 comma placed after 'whispered', before the speech begins
B1 opening speech marks and a capital letter for the first word of the speech, 'I'
B1 closing punctuation (full stop) placed inside the closing speech marks
Answer: Aisha whispered, "I heard something moving down there."

Question 12

(a) B1 'because' used correctly to introduce the reason
(a) B1 single grammatically correct complex sentence, correctly punctuated, no comma needed before 'because' in this position oe
(a) Answer: Aisha found the torch on her phone because she wanted to see into the dark cellar.
(b) B1 'although' placed at the start of the sentence to introduce the subordinate clause
(b) B1 comma correctly placed after the subordinate clause, before the main clause
(b) Answer: Although the clock's hands did not move, Aisha heard a strange sound.
(c) B1 'when' placed at the start of the sentence to introduce the subordinate clause
(c) B1 comma correctly placed after the subordinate clause, before the main clause
(c) Answer: When Aisha turned the key, the room grew cold.

Question 13

(a) B1 any plausible sentence that creates intrigue or tension, relevant to the title oe
(a) Answer: Open response, e.g. 'Every house on the street had a green front door, except the one at number nine, which had no door at all.'
(b) B1 any plausible, relevant sensory detail oe
(b) Answer: Open response, e.g. the smell of cold stone, a distant scraping sound, a shadow moving under a door.
(c) B1 a plausible name plus one relevant supporting detail oe
(c) Answer: Open response, e.g. Tomas, who is curious but easily frightened.
(d) B1 any plausible foreshadowing idea relevant to the title oe
(d) Answer: Open response, e.g. a warning carved into the door frame, a neighbour who refuses to explain why the door is locked.

Question 14

Content and organisation (AO5)
- Level 2 (3-4): A clear description with a working simile and personification, both used with some effect. Vocabulary choices are apt. Ideas are organised into a coherent short paragraph.
- Level 1 (1-2): A simple description; simile and/or personification attempted but limited or not fully convincing. Little variety of sentence structure.
- Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.
Technical accuracy (AO6)
- Level 2 (2): Consistently accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar, including correctly punctuated simile and personification.
- Level 1 (1): Some accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar; occasional errors that do not impede meaning.
- Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.

Question 15

B1 creeped corrected to crept
B1 here corrected to hear
B1 clocks corrected to clock's
B1 there corrected to their
B1 new corrected to knew
Answer: Aisha crept down the stairs quietly. She could hear her heart beating fast. The clock's hands seemed to move on their own, and she knew she should not have touched the key.

Question 16

Content and organisation (AO5)
- Level 3 (5): A sustained and effective build of tension through precise vocabulary choices and controlled variation of sentence length (e.g. a short sentence for dramatic impact).
- Level 2 (3-4): A clear attempt to build tension using vocabulary and some variation of sentence length, mostly effective.
- Level 1 (1-2): Some attempt to build tension; limited vocabulary and little variation of sentence structure.
- Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.
Technical accuracy (AO6)
- Level 2 (3): Consistently accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar, precisely controlled for effect (e.g. a deliberate short sentence correctly punctuated).
- Level 1 (1-2): Generally accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar with occasional lapses.
- Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.

Question 17

Content and organisation (AO5)
- Level 4 (19-24): A sophisticated, carefully structured narrative that manages the reader's response throughout, for example through pace, suspense or a controlled twist. Ambitious and precise vocabulary. A confident range of literary techniques used for deliberate effect. A strong, distinctive narrative voice.
- Level 3 (13-18): A well-organised narrative with a clear structure, including an engaging opening and a satisfying or deliberately unresolved ending. A range of vocabulary and some deliberate use of literary techniques (for example simile, dialogue, varied sentence lengths) to create effect. Clear awareness of the reader.
- Level 2 (7-12): A clear narrative with a recognisable beginning, middle and end. Some appropriate vocabulary choices and occasional use of description or dialogue. Some awareness of the reader, for example through a simple attempt at atmosphere or tension.
- Level 1 (1-6): A simple, single-idea narrative. Limited vocabulary and mostly simple sentence structures. Little sense of structure, with beginning, middle and end uneven or unclear. Minimal attempt to engage the reader.
- Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.
Technical accuracy (AO6)
- Level 4 (10-12): Spelling, punctuation and grammar are accurate throughout, even in ambitious or complex constructions. Punctuation is used for deliberate stylistic effect.
- Level 3 (7-9): Spelling, punctuation and grammar are consistently accurate across a range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and direct speech where used.
- Level 2 (4-6): Spelling, punctuation and grammar are mostly accurate on simple sentence structures; some errors appear on more ambitious or complex sentences.
- Level 1 (1-3): Frequent errors in spelling, punctuation and grammar that sometimes obscure meaning. Little variety of sentence structure.
- Level 0 (0): Nothing worthy of credit.

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